The past is set. The only choice you have is the way forward. Accept this with peace in your heart and gain strength.
“My formula for greatness in a human being is amor fati: that one wants nothing to be different, not forward, not backward, not in all eternity. Not merely bear what is necessary, still less conceal it… but love it.” — Friedrich Nietzsche
Fate is a combination of external forces and the choices you make.
You cannot hope to control external forces. “Life is what happens to us while we are making other plans.” [Allen Saunders] Choices yield consequences you cannot hope to predict with certainty. “Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.” [Ralph Waldo Emerson]
Strength is gained in the acceptance of fate and in the act of making a positive out of a negative.
The Stoics embraced this mindset as a way of coming to terms with what they could not change. Instead of viewing adversity as a negative, they perceived a deeper, positive purpose. “A blazing fire makes flame and brightness out of everything that is thrown into it.” [Marcus Aurelius]
Wasting effort on things you cannot change is the real negative, not fate.
Dwelling on each event deemed unfair is poison. You are no longer present. You are trapped in the past, a victim of your own perception. The only way forward is to first accept what you cannot change. Only then may you act.
“To bear is to conquer our fate.” [Thomas Campbell] Acceptance of what IS, of what MUST BE, brings strength and comfort. It frees you to move forward with peace of mind and love in your heart. “The Fates guide the person who accepts them and hinder the person who resists them.” [Cleanthes]
Accepting your fate, even loving it and the wisdom you have gained, does not make you a doormat of acquiescence. You don’t lie down across the train tracks of life and give up. You find the calm center and advance with determination knowing nothing in life is guaranteed.
You would have it no other way.
Amor Fati. Love of fate.